Larry and Harry drove 500 miles to go fishing. They paid a huge sum to rent a cabin, a similar about to rent a boat. They fished for three days and caught only one fish between them.
On the way home, Harry fiddled with(摆弄，玩弄) a calculator while Larry drove. After an hour, Harry said, Do you realize that this one fish we caught cost us almost $2,000?
Wow! Larry said, It's a good thing we didn't catch any more.
A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer. No, ma’am, we haven't had any for a while, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting soon.
Horrified, the manager came runningover to the customer and said, Of course, we'll have somesoon, We placed an order last week. Then the manager drew the clerk aside: Never, never, never say we are out of anything say we've got it on order and it's coming.
Now what was it she wanted? Rain, said the clerk.
At a dinner party a shy young man had been trying to think of something nice to say to his hostess. At last he saw his chance when she turned to him and remarked, "What a smallappetite you have tonight, Mr. Jones."
"To sit next to you," he replied gallantly, "would cause any man to lose his appetite."
A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $250 due for a consultation.
Professor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day,so he wrote some words on the blackboard which read as follows: "Professor Tom will meet the class tomorrow."
A student, seeing his chance to display his sense of humor after reading the notice, walked up and erased the "c" in the word "class." The Professor noticing the laughter, wheeled around, walked back, looked at the student, then at the notice with the "c" erased--calmly walked up and erased the "l" in "lass", looked at the flabbergasted student and proceeded on his way.